Her Bull Rider's Baby Page 19
Either Luke was pretty shocked to have her bring up Colby right now… or he didn’t like the guy.
She picked at her thumbnail. “I slept with him last year.” She ignored Luke’s groan of disgust. “Adriano found out, beat up Crane, and we fought. That’s why it’s over.”
“Crane’s a fucking asshole. Why would you sleep with him?”
“I only did it the once! Don’t tell me you’ve never regretted something the next morning?”
He unconsciously touched a finger to under his bruised eye. “Not as much as I regret knowing that my sister slept with Crane. Look, the man’s a shit stirrer. I’m not saying beating him up was right—or fighting with you about it was either—but Crane’s pissed off a lot of people. He might have had it coming.”
“Violence is always wrong,” she said. “Although Adriano did tell me that Crane liked to poke at him. Make smart comments and stuff.” Not that it excused what he’d done—especially Adriano’s comments to her after—but she wasn’t known to have the calmest temper herself.
“Huh. And you guys haven’t tried to discuss this rationally, have you?”
Nope. She’d told him to stay away. And he had.
“Why are you defending him all of a sudden?” Not accusing, just curious.
Luke shrugged. “He seemed to make you happy. Look, if he’s a jealous punk, I’ll be the first to say stay away. But maybe you should try talking it over with him.”
“Maybe.” She turned the phone over in her hands, watched the light slide across the brushed metal. They did need to talk about it. But first, she had to invite him to the ultrasound. “Want to talk about your eye now?”
“Nope.”
She sighed, then called up Adriano, her heart hammering in her ears. What if he didn’t pick up? Or worse, what if he did?
“Hello?” So deep. It was like biting into a square of the darkest chocolate, hearing his voice. Sweet and bitter and rich all at once.
“Hey.” She sounded like a chicken being strangled. She cleared her throat. “Um, it’s Lil.”
“I know.” Oh so carefully neutral. He wasn’t giving her anything here.
“There’s uh…” She rubbed at her forehead, hyperaware of Luke listening in. “Do you remember that the big ultrasound is tomorrow?”
“Yes.” Still flat. Still giving nothing away.
If he’d missed her, he certainly wasn’t showing it. A lump collected in her throat. “Did you still want to come? I mean, if you’re anywhere close—”
“I’m in California.”
He was? “Oh.”
“I wanted to be near you in case you needed something. You or the baby.”
Oh, God. He’d been there, close to her, quiet because she’d asked him. But ready if she needed him.
Yeah, they did need to talk.
She blinked hard, pulling in a shaky breath. “Okay, so you can make it.” The lump traveled to her chest, made her lungs tight. “Eleven. Do you remember how to get to the doctor’s? I’ll meet you there.”
“Yes.” Something vibrated deep beneath that. Pain? Anguish?
No, no, no. She had her own pain to work through—she couldn’t take on his. “Okay. See you then.” And she disconnected before she could fall apart completely.
Adriano watched as the nurse took the blood pressure cuff off Lil’s arm, examined it, then put it back on.
The nurse was the only one wearing any kind of expression—he and Lil sat in stony silence. She hadn’t even looked at him when he’d arrived at the doctor’s office, so he’d taken the hint and kept his mouth shut as he sat down next to her.
The machine whirred as the cuff filled with air. Lil winced when it fully inflated. He suppressed his own twinge of sympathy. She wanted to think him a monster? Then he’d play the monster for her. Whatever she wanted, he’d give her.
Including their child.
The nurse frowned at the numbers like she had at the first set.
Lil stared straight ahead, back rigid, mouth flat.
“Is something the matter?” he asked the nurse. Lil might not care that something could be wrong, but he did.
The nurse pinched up her mouth apologetically. “You’ll have to speak with the doctor and see what she says.”
As if that was reassuring. At least the nurse wasn’t calling the doctor in right away, so it couldn’t be life threatening.
Lil gave no indication she’d heard any of it. She moved like a zombie toward the ultrasound room, lay down on the table with all the liveliness of a robot.
After two weeks of silence from her—silence that had killed him to carry on, silence that he’d honored at her request—he’d hoped her invitation might be an opportunity to fix what he’d broken. To repair their relationship. But it was clear this was an obligation to her and nothing more. He was there because it was right for the father of the baby to be present. Not because Lil actually wanted him.
He settled into the chair and waited for another glimpse of his daughter. That would be the only joy from this visit.
This time he recognized more of his baby. Her face, her hands, her feet, all of her wriggling constantly. Did Lil feel that, all that motion inside her? He didn’t know and was afraid to ask in case Lil refused to answer.
Lil kept her gaze hard on the ultrasound screen, never letting him glimpse even a hint of her reaction.
For him, the experience was as wondrous as the first time. He’d only seen Gabriela twice now, but he already knew he’d never tire of looking at her. And that the time he spent apart from her, the long months she’d spend with Lil, would hurt with a depth he’d never experienced before.
“Everything looks good,” the tech said, “but the doctor will be in to talk to you as well. Are you ready to see the sex?”
Lil nodded.
“Okay.” The tech prodded with the wand and peered at the screen. Adriano had at least had some idea of what he was looking at before—he had no clue what was happening here.
“It’s a girl!” the tech announced. “Congratulations. Have you thought about names?”
They had a name. One they’d chosen together at that baby store, where they’d picked out all the things they’d thought the baby would need.
Adriano waited for Lil to say it. She was the mother—she had first rights.
But when she kept silent, he said, “Gabriela.” At the exact same time Lil did.
Their gazes met for the first time that day, and that old spark passed between them, the one that kicked his heart into high gear.
“What a beautiful name.” The tech probably said that to every couple who came through, but she sounded like she really meant it this time.
“Thank you,” Lil said, never looking away from him.
He held her gaze. I love you. I love this baby. And I’m sorry. All the things he wanted to say but couldn’t. Not with the tech watching.
Lil’s expression was clear, her gaze steady. Did she see in his eyes how he felt? Did she care?
The doctor came in then, severing the moment between them. “And how are the two of you?”
Lil tore her gaze from his. “I’m fine.”
The doctor glanced up at her tone, looked between the two of them. “Really? Because your blood pressure is elevated.” Dr. Young set a hand to her chin, studying the both of them as the tech slipped out behind her. “Is anything happening that’s causing you stress?”
He slid a glance to Lil. Now how was she going to answer that?
“I…” Lil closed her mouth, folded her hands together.
This was his fault. He ought to take the blame. “It was me. I—”
“We’re rethinking living together.” Lil lifted her chin, set her jaw. Was that dare in her eyes for the doctor? Or for him?
He raised an eyebrow at her. She didn’t need to do that. He’d already been halfway to admitting that he’d fucked everything up.
“I see.” Dr. Young’s fingers tapped against her chin. “Well, that complicates t
hings. Because based on your blood pressure reading, I’m going to recommend at least a week of bed rest.”
“What!” Lil shook her head wildly. “I can’t lie around for a whole week. I have work to do.”
His own blood pressure skyrocketed. “Is she all right?” he demanded. “Should she be admitted to the hospital?”
Lil turned her glare on him, but he didn’t back down. Her health was important. And she was everything to him.
“No, no,” the doctor said. “It’s a little high—something we want to keep an eye on, but nothing serious. Yet.”
That slowed Lil down, her throat working as she swallowed. “If it’s not serious, why do I need to be on bed rest?”
Adriano tightened his jaw, the pressure making his ears ache. If she wasn’t going to take the doctor’s warnings seriously…
Her tearstained face. His body, blocking her escape.
There was nothing he could do. Not against her will.
“Well, if your blood pressure doesn’t come down,” Dr. Young said, “you could be on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. So a week, just to be careful, really isn’t much. Is there anyone who can take care of you?” Her gaze swung to Adriano.
Well, he had found himself with some free time on his hands. Too bad Lil didn’t want him anywhere near her.
The corners of Lil’s eyes crinkled, worry finally stealing across her face. “Bea’s going away on some camping trip, and Luke has to work during the day.” She tugged at her fingers. “I guess I could call my mom.”
Not once did she look at him.
Fuck it. “I’ll do it.”
She was the mother of his child—she might not want him there, but he owed her this at least. He wouldn’t touch her, would only talk to her when necessary—it would be purely minimal contact. Just as she wanted.
He might have imagined it, but there was a spark of approval in the doctor’s eyes.
Lil didn’t look approving—she looked apprehensive. But at least she was meeting his gaze now. “Are you sure?” An edge there, as if she suspected him of something.
But she hadn’t said no.
“I’ve got nowhere to be,” he pointed out gently. No pushing. Letting her come to him. But his pulse surged as he willed her to say yes.
She licked her lips, studied him with a keen expression.
Come on, Lil. Let me help you. Let me make this up to you.
She swallowed, looked to her lap. “Okay.” Muted, without a hint of a dare or defiance.
He released a breath. “Okay. Good.” His heart quieted. He wasn’t going to fuck this up. Not this time.
“Good.” Dr. Young snapped closed Lil’s chart. “One week of nothing but sitting on the couch. You can sit up, go to the bathroom, shower—just take it easy. Rest. Let Adriano take care of you. Think you can handle it?”
The doctor’s gaze flicked to him, then back to Lil. The doctor was definitely up to something, but he couldn’t quite figure what.
Lil gave a sad little nod. But she’d agreed.
Afterward, they walked out to her truck together, neither one speaking. The awkwardness between them was like a giant balloon, one that Adriano bounced against whenever he got too close to her.
He opened the truck door for her, held out his hand to help her in.
She stared at it for a moment.
“I’m very sorry,” he said quietly. “I never should have behaved like that.” He didn’t usually behave like that—the one time he finally lost his temper, and he lost Lil as well.
“It… I’m not going to say it was okay. Because it wasn’t. But thank you.” Her gaze met his, steady, questioning. “How long has Colby been fucking with you?”
He frowned as he thought back. “Years, I guess. Since I first met him.”
She fiddled with her purse strap, then took on a stern expression. “It was still wrong to hit him.”
“Yes. And I’ve been punished,” he reminded her. Losing his place on the tour, losing her… He’d return to the tour next year, but he found he didn’t care as much about bull riding anymore.
As for the money, there was enough to support his mother, his daughter, and his family. Not as much as he might have liked, but enough to go home now.
Everything he’d feared was happening—losing his place on the circuit, falling short of the plan he’d set, leaving part of his heart and his child behind here—but strangely the fear was muted.
There was only determination that he should make this up to her.
Her mouth pinched, as if she was struggling to hold on to her anger. “You shouldn’t have been such a dick about who I’ve slept with. It really is none of your business.”
“I know.” He tilted his head, studied her eyes. Was she forgiving him? “Don’t worry, my mother scolded me for a long while. She told me I had been raised better than that. And she was right.”
“Your mother?” Her eyes went wide with surprise, more green than gray in the bright light. “You told your mother?”
“Yes. I like to tell her when I’ve made terrible mistakes so she can tell me how to fix them.” He gave her a small, wry smile.
His mother had told him to stay in America until he fixed things with Lil. He knew better than to disobey her.
Lil didn’t return his smile. “What if I told you I’ve slept with every single bull rider on the tour?” A dare. Always the challenges with this nervy woman.
And he loved her for it.
He tried a joke. “I’d admire your stamina.”
Her lips twitched.
“Don’t laugh,” he said. “It only encourages me.”
She shook her head as the smile broke out across her face. Not quite forgiveness, not quite setting them back to where they’d been—but a start.
He’d take it.
She set her hand in his, and he lifted her into the truck. She leaned out. “I’ll see you at home then?”
He nodded. “Sounds good to me.” And it did.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lil flipped through the channels for the fourth time that morning. Six hundred channels and not a thing to watch. Bed rest was hell, and this was only the first day. Rufio was next to her, watching the TV with his head on his paws and looking as bored as she felt.
Where was Adriano? She was about to crawl out of her skin, wondering what was going on at the bull barn. Beau said he could handle it all, and he could, but she still wanted to know.
Her e-mails too—James, her dad’s friend, had said that they would look at the videos she’d sent once more. Not a definite yes, but better than the flat no they’d given before. Maybe they’d reconsidered by now and had e-mailed her to tell her. She jiggled her leg, which made Rufio lift his head eagerly.
“Sorry. We’re not going anywhere.”
He dropped his head and she forced her leg to be still.
A week of this. If she was supposed to be keeping calm, it would have been better to just let her keep going to work.
Her phone rang and she eagerly snatched it up. A call. An actual live human who wanted to talk to her.
“Hello?” As eager as a puppy.
“Hey.” Bea sounded a little taken aback by Lil’s enthusiasm. “How are you? How was the doctor’s appointment?”
Great. Terrible. “We got to see the baby, which was nice. And it’s definitely a girl.” That had been great. Better than great. She only wished the atmosphere between her and Adriano hadn’t been so oppressive. “But my blood pressure was a little high, so I’m on bed rest for a week.” Which was terrible.
At least the sitting on the couch part. The having Adriano take care of her part… Well, it wasn’t quite as weird as she’d expected. When she’d agreed to this, it hadn’t been her good sense that had said okay. It had been her heart. She only hoped her heart hadn’t made a terrible mistake. At least, not worse than falling in love with him in the first place.
And his apology after the doctor’s appointment… So simple. But so powerful.
So maybe it was a one-off thing. He’d certainly sounded remorseful.
Maybe they could forge a decent co-parenting relationship—this week would be a good test of that. But Lil didn’t think she was ready to risk her heart again. Not when he was certain to leave her. And not when he certainly gave no hint he wanted to risk his.
And the custody thing… She was trying very hard not to think of that. That was certain to raise her blood pressure.
She’d woken up this morning at her usual time, but Adriano had already been awake, telling her he would take care of the goats and the chickens.
“I’ve milked goats and collected eggs,” he’d reminded her as he settled her on the couch. She’d been ready to protest, but he’d placed a mug of coffee in her hands.
“I’m not certain if I should have this.” But Lord, did she want it.
“You’re going to be sitting on this couch for a week, which will be torture for you. A cup of coffee won’t hurt.” He gestured to the home blood pressure monitor he’d picked up yesterday. “Take a reading this morning, please.”
An order, although politely couched. He’d also given her some coffee. And he was close to her, close enough to almost touch…
She leaned back, put the mug to her lips just to busy herself as she listened to him leave. Her blood pressure was normal according to the machine, but she kept her butt on the couch. She’d be a good little patient this week so there’d be no excuse to keep her there another week.
He’d come back from taking care of her stock and made her breakfast. As she’d eaten under his watchful eye, his attention making her heart do jumpy things, he’d asked, “What needs to be done with the bulls?”
She paused. Beau would be there, and he could handle things without her this week—but there was some stuff she wanted to tell him. And Adriano would be the perfect messenger. Maybe she could keep him shuttling between here and the barns, carrying instructions for her. Not as good as being there herself, but better than nothing. And he wouldn’t be so temptingly near all the time.